I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Is her dick bigger than yours?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
