It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize