I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Randomize
