Define "chronic" masturbator.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I just gift wrapped bread.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
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