can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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