After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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