Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
