Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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