The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Randomize
