I can't watch pbs sober anymore
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
It's blow job season.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Your penis caused this!
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