Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
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