A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
