my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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