They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
