he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
