Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
