is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize