Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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