I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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