when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
