Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
