Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
