ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
