is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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