it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
