I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
The ass gains better be worth it
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