3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize