My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
