it's like iHOP with fire
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
