Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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