if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
