he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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