you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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