He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
