I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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