Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
