Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Im part way to drunk.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize