And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize