whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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