that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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