i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Randomize
