My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
