he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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