It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I think a kid would responsible me up
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I have aggressive nipples.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
