Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize