meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
