Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Randomize
