My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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