Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize