He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
