I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize