last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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