So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
