You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize