please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
