then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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