Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
