The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
