Pregnant stripper...not hot.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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