if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
