Yo dont text me then not text me
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Randomize