we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
