sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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