So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize