i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
