I want to make a zoo with you.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
