I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Can I color on your dick again?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
