if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Houston, we have a squirter
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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