We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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