I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
