i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
