he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
