HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
