it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
