You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
