Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
This is my gift to your gina
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Randomize
