used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
