Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
