I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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