I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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