so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
soo... how was my night?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
