i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize