all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
