He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
