I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
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