sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
