i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
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