It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
