It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
