yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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