I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
