Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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