At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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